Initial thoughts…

Since Monday morning I have had the same song from The Greatest Showman stuck on repeat at the back of my mind…


’I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

It is FUCANCER Friday and what a week it has been. Technically on day 4 post op and I am feeling way better than expected. First, please excuse the following update as I am sure it will be littered with grammatical and spellling errorss however I am not apologising  because the fact i am able to write this gives cause for celebration!

So, as the Funny Boy implied everything didn’t go quite as planned – On account of me literally breaking free from a 3 point 60lb brace. According to my surgeon in 20 years he has only seen this achieved 3 times and I’m the first female. Admittedly this is not a title I had hoped for. I  was really angry and disappointmed in myself when I found out – I wanted to play by the book and had rehearsed the steps in my mind in the days and hours leading up to the operation but the main thing is that my surgeon is happy if not a little amazed at my brute strength!

The days here are highlighted with visits from family, friends and my number one sidekick Parsnip. So how am I feeling? I can hear a frequent clicking in my head which I’m told is the sound of my skull knitting itself back together. Every time I hear it I have an image of the grannies from the shreddies advert working away in there.

The fantastic news is I can control my left hand side – Overall mobility is good but basic tasks like. Speaking, eating and brushing my teeth are challenging and require more brain power and concerted effort. I have reduced sensation on my left so response to temperature and my ability to grasp is slightly diminished but i am in no way complaining- for a first step I’m already higher than i expected to be. I’m very weak with a lop-sided smile and slurred speech but that will improve. Plus I have an awesome new scar! So initial thoughts from me…. the medical team here deserve the greatest gifts this earth has to offer – I have no idea how I am going to show my appreciation  to  Mr Liaquat, Sue, the many many, many nurses  and all the therapists too.  Mr Liaquat (my surgeon) is my new hero and at the next FUCancer event we will be cheering for him and his heroic team!

I feel so incredibly lucky to be alive. The reality is now hitting me – rehab will require the 3 months advised. Speech therapy has begun and I’m working my way through tongue twisters I doubt I could have achieved even before Monday but I am looking forward… Looking forward to going home  getting strong.

Thanks for all the amazing messages and huge apologies for the less than coherent replies. Reviewing my sent items proves my brain is not working at its optimum!







6 thoughts on “Initial thoughts…

  1. Heather. All the love in the world. Can’t find words to express my admiration. Amazing courageous positive beautiful are some that come to mind. Hope you enjoy the wee sausage dog book. Xxxx

  2. It is so hard to post a comment without sounding patronising Heather, but goodness me what an absolute inspiration you are. Your strength, determination and positivity is only to be admired and I am learning a lot from you (how to look at life and absolutely appreciate it). I wish you comfort and a speedy recovery. You and Gordon (Scrappy) are frequently in my family’s thoughts and we speak about you often. Please keep the updates coming so we know how you are xx

  3. Heather you are an amazing woman. My thoughts are with you all. Your blog is so inspiring and makes us all appreciate what we have. Stay cheerful and positive. Sending all your family much love.

  4. Amazing strong and very determined lady what an inspiration you are. Parsnip is a very lucky pup and we are all privilaged to read your recovery as you keep up the fight with such bravery , reality and humor. Wishing you a very speedy recovery kicking its ass as you’ve proved you are always up for a fight💪💪💪remember be kind to yourself too someone told me that once 😉 x

  5. Wow Heather. ‘Inspirational’ is a well used word in our field but feel that you truly deserve it for your amazing openness and positivity. Get strong again soon with the love of everyone around you, including Parsnip of course! Xx

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