It is officially four weeks on since I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. A lot and a little has happened in a relatively short timeframe: I have had a PET scan, a CT scan, two further planning meetings and three new tattoos. Treatment begins a week today which will be combination of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. The most common question in response to that is ‘what about your hair?’ and I am relieved to say that my golden-locks are safe (otherwise I would be raging having spent a fortune getting my roots done!) Anyone who has ever been through this will no doubt agree that when you get a diagnosis you want treatment to begin yesterday. Waiting is frustrating. Every bodily function, every pain, every niggle you automatically think ‘It’s the cancer!’ Even the funny boy had to laugh when I claimed my hiccups were related to cancer. The prospect of treatment doesn’t scare me – don’t get me wrong; the idea of feeling nauseous, enduring sunburn and various other side affects doesn’t sound like the best fun. Saying goodbye to the prospect of motherhood has definitely been a grieving process for me. So yes, with regards to starting treatment a little has happened however I am ready to tackle this head on. I am young, fit, strong and I have an army of people supporting me!
My army of family and friends have been amazing. I have been flooded with supportive messages, inspiring words, thoughtful gifts – I love my FUC bear (http://designer-j.co.uk/). Old friends, new friends, friends of friends all going out of their way to say something. I appreciate how difficult it can be for some people. You don’t want to say the wrong thing but you don’t want to say nothing either. As I said previously this is a marathon and it is great to know you have people at the finishing line but it is even better knowing they are running it with you! My family and the funny boy have been particularly outstanding…
My mum is now known as Alma ‘Iceberg’ Williams. For those of who you have met my pocket sized mother you will understand what I mean when I say she is petite. To look at you probably wouldn’t back her in a fight, but you would be wrong! She may look small but she has the strength and power to take down the Titanic! Out of everyone she was the person I was most nervous about telling. I assumed she would cry and ask ‘why’ – I was wrong. She has helped me with every emotion and supported me through every step of the marathon so far.
Then, there is my Dad. He is a classic Dad. When it comes to ‘lady-things’ he doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t understand womens’ bits and nor does he want to. Who could blame him?! I can only imagine being told your daughter, your only daughter, has cancer is a parent’s worst nightmare. Top that by it being cervical cancer and a whole host of awkward conversations then it is definately a dad’s worst nightmare. Yet, my dad has amazed me! He has attended every appointment, listened to every consequence of treatment and held my hand through it all. My dad already had the nickname ‘Buggernuts’ – it doesn’t seem appropriate to rename him Amazeballs but that is what he is! Amazeballs!
The siblings (Owain, Gags & Angela) and the nephews (Conor and Ryan aka Ryno (apologies Ryan you will hate that name one day)) are top pacemakers too! Each showing their support in their own way. My nephews have prepared a superb pack of FU Cancer treats which are in my bag all set for next week. Angela has been an ear for me to rant and rave when needs to be. Owain and Gareth are the same which is exactly what I need them to be. They approve of the funny boy which is a major bonus too!
And then there is the funny boy! There aren’t enough words to describe him. Maybe I should keep it simple and rename him my fiancee!
Yeah, so a little and a lot has happened in the past four weeks! Treatment is still waiting to start but I am no longer free agent! After a very romantic and personalised proposal (in true funny boy fashion) I said yes! Exactly four weeks to the day and time I was getting my diagnosis I was sat in a jewellers picking my engagement ring! I am beyond elated. Marathons have their ups and downs and today is definately a high! Looks like I have a training partner for life now. Lucky, lucky me!