Two steps forward, one step back

You might think by now I would have formulated an easy way to break this news, a magic method  to avoid  the shock or  prevent  the sting but of all the things cancer  has taught me – and believe me, the list is vast – to no avail it has not equipped me with best method of letting  people know – I have a new tumour.

I am going to keep this short and simple: On review of my scans the doctors have found a new tumour located on the other side of my brain. As a result I will be returning to hospital at the start of December for another Craniotomy.

Now for the good news. The location of this tumour makes the operation more straight forward and  presents fewer risks. It won’t be an awake craniotomy which means I won’t be wrecking anymore hospital equipment.

Personally, the worst part of cancer continues to be  the stress and worry it causes the ones I love. Yesterday was a familiar feeling – a series of phone calls and conversations with my nearest and dearest as I played the role of messenger delivering more bad news. It breaks my heart but the love I feel makes me even more determined to continue saying FUCANCER!

As I prepared myself for Wednesday’s appointment and imagined every possible outcome – I was not prepared for the news of a new tumour. Of course it is a huge shock but as I left the hospital I did feel hopeful.  You might expect I would be left feeling deflated after such news, as if I am taking two steps forward, one step back  but my surgeon took the time to reassure me of the strength he has seen in me – literally and figuratively! So much so, I was half expecting him to hand me a bill for this fancy brace I supposedly damaged,  instead he presented me with the action plan and  I was armed  with my timeline for the next steps and feeling empowered with the knowledge that I am capable to tackle it head on.

As I continue to recover from my recent surgery I can feel myself getting stronger each day. My focus remains the same: Get strong: get fit and  say FUCANCER. Yes, there is a new hurdle but the finish line  hasn’t changed. Speaking of sport – it is with great delight that I have not only been given the ok to start exercising but my surgeon has actively encouraged me to return to hockey! He believes  it will be an excellent form of rehab! So next week I’ll be dusting off my stick and returning to the friendliest hockey club in Scotland’s capital!! How is that for some good news?

As always, FUCANCER

 

6 thoughts on “Two steps forward, one step back

  1. Wow Heather you are having an almighty battle! Thinking of you and your lovely family.Enjoy your hockey,often in our thoughts.

    Windsor &Margaret

  2. Heather – you continue to be such an inspiration! Sending best wishes and love from Morag, Fiona, Clare and Emily aka CRUK CP Team Scotland! xxxx #FUCANCER

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